Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Green mimosas i think yes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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