do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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