Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
