this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
