fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
