The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize