3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Operation Purity has been aborted
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
