Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
