I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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