All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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