new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize