i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
