but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
