So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize