Tell her she can't have a vagina
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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