Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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