i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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