Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
