so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Come see our sink grown plant.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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