I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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