your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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