Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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