Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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