In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
