I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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