can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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