remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
