Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
