last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
