In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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