I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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