whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize