I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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