pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
