I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
