We're facebook friends in real life
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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