theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize