I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
