It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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