I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize