I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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