Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
