Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
