do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
