The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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