i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
