First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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