I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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