well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
