well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize