Your face is a jimmy john
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
