office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
