You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
