Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
