OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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