just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
