If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
