So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why do cheetos always look like penises
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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