jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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