In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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