That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
