DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
