i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
