belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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