i'm signing you up for texting rehab
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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